Pete often tells me that for those who weren't there in Burns time has moved on, for those who were he is sure they still think of it often but have had some sense of closure. 

Those who were blessed enough to be released from jail before going to trial the nightmare still lingers but at least they can be thankful for breathing the fresh air and being with Families. 

Pete Santilli

But for those who were arrested and never released, time has stood still. Pete is stuck in what he describes as a never ending loop and the same scenes play over and over in his mind. 

When he closes his eyes at night he hears the sirens rush past his hotel, and that's when he feels the terror begin to rise up into his throat making it hard to breathe.

He knows that when he hears those sirens, the nightmare that has become his life is about to begin and there is not a damn thing he can do to stop it. 

He hears the words - "shot's were fired" and a voice that whispers to him over and over -- "someone is dead -- Someone is dead" 

He see's the smiling face of Mr. Finicum -- yes he thinks he was smiling the last time he saw him -

Pete see's Ammon and Ryan Bundy almost every day now, but often they are like ghosts that have come in the night -- not real somehow - unrecognizable. 

The men he knew are still standing in the snow at the Malhuer Refuge aren't they? 

Isn't that Ammon over there smiling and shaking the hands of a dozen Ranchers? 

And over there is Ryan Bundy - yes - right over there - proudly answering questions for a young man doing a book report for school? 

The bunkhouse and kitchen still feel warm and cozy, and smell like a hundred meals cooked in his own Mama's kitchen. 

Isn't that Jason Patrick walking up a long icy drive smiling and waving and stopping to give a hug ?

Surely Blaine and Jon are still sitting in a truck at the Refuge Gate looking weary to the bone, but able to muster a smile and a hello when Pete stops by -- 

Are those the voices of children singing?

For Pete life stops abruptly right there and his nightmare begins -- 

Shot's were fired -- Someone is dead -- Someone is dead ...

Then panic -- and desperation, hopelessly begging strangers with AR15's to PLEASE PLEASE let him go get the women and children out of there -- PLEASE ...

And then they surround him -- they secure him -- they shackle him -- they throw him into the back of a car -- 

He watches his life speed away from him until it's just a distant reflection in a rearview mirror provided for him by the United States of America .. 

Pete would not learn who was murdered out there on 395 until he was in Portland being booked. He was told by Ryan Bundy.

He just doesn't except that because --

For him -- LaVoy Finicum is still at the refuge -- Smiling at him --- and waving goodbye --

So long Pete, he says -- we'll be seeing you tomorrow ..

And the loop begins to play again ---

When he closes his eyes at night he hears the sirens rush past his hotel, and that's when he feels the terror begin to rise up into his throat making it hard to breathe.

This photo of Pete was taken the day we left Cincinnati for Burns Oregon.